To procrastinate further on my work, I thought I'd go ahead and make a thank you call to the aunt who sent me a gift card for my birthday. I used the number my mom gave me, the person on the other end was all, "Kristi!" like they knew who I was, but something was...odd. "This kinda sounds like the other aunt," I thought. Well, I know me my aunt voices, because oh my. So, I thanked her for a gift card, got awkward silence, then a reference to some house that this other aunt had owned, and wow, oh you guys, so embarrassing. She was really warm and nice, talking with me about New York a lot, because that news has made the family rounds, but ohhhh man. So then I called my mom, all "YOU MADE ME CALL THE WRONG AUNT. DO YOU NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. HINT: ONE SENT ME A GIFT AND ONE DIDN'T. ONE HAS ONE NAME; THE OTHER HAS ANOTHER. OH MY GOD, MOTHER. ARGH. ARGH TO THE NTH."
So what happened was, in my mom's new cell phone she had the number of the aunt I called under "D M"--D for her first name, M for her husband's first name. COINCIDENTALLY, these are the exact initials of the other sister and her husband. Oh my god, mother.

This might set me back about 7 steps in my phone phobia program, pretending I have one.

Moral: Do your homework. Don't look up. No stopping. To do otherwise leads to terrible things.